Friday, August 21, 2015

Golden

It's the golden time
Sunflowers wave lazily 


Chamisa's golden blanket 
Covers the rusty sand
The sun is strong
It is hard to see
The gold shines so hot


Your coming begins in the deep hours of the morning
The Dark Still
I am in the twilight of sleep
But I know you are coming


The sensations thread through my dreams
Filling those hours with a quiet wondering
"Is it today? Will you come today?"



In the water I stay
Allowing my body to work
While the warmness bathes me
And the smell of lavender
Washes me in its dream


I leave the water, my body begins to rebel against the sensations
They are strong and undeniable
Like the heat outside beating down
I send my breath into them 



Unrelenting, if I'd only known how close you were
It takes all of me
Each 60 seconds
Takes the whole of all my years lived and dreamed
Collapsed to this single moment
Where I meet you
And I give you
All of me


And then that's it, the sensation of you moving through me
My body moves on it's own
Each contraction now transmuted to
Respond to your moving
A symphony of its own
Each note ringing out
Writing you into existence 


And then the burning as you find your way through
The heat, there are no sensations anymore
Do I see or hear? It is all one. There is just now. It's all that exists and I can't even sense it because I am it. You and I, we are all of it.


Then the release, you are no longer me. You are you. I can see you and feel you and hear you. It is a miracle. You have become and you have left me all at once.
The cord still pulses with the remembering of us. It slowly fades as you let go and find your way.


To see you, to look into you, the connection stabs into me with its depth. It's like I am falling into you.
all the nights of oneness, you with me without me really knowing you
the deep spilling red of the placenta laying separate from us, my gift to you for all that time,
the way my empty belly contracts into itself...it remembers you...



all this I did not feel or know until I saw you
And so you have shown me
Sometimes to meet someone you have to let them go...


Golden sunshine spills over us
And the sunflowers fill a vase
And I can see now
How everything shines gold.


Monday, July 27, 2015

Nostalgia

I scroll the pages of photos, thousands of images blur


So many moments



A color catches my eye, I stop for a glimpse



A pause on my way to the destination photo



in one image, so much




a whole story



a whole story of stories




they circle endlessly




converging into this moment of seconds




and printed pixels




That's how this life feels to me




A blur of color and sound and feeling




But there are those times




When I can stop




And really look






And one moment






becomes a thousand






And i begin to understand




as image after image floods through me






so much more beautiful than I ever realized







remembered






or imagined






And I know






I know as I look in the eyes






of the child who no longer exists as this image




but who forever exists in me as that image and




all the thousands of other images, the infinite aspects




of their Beauty stamped forever onto the heart of the soul



who loves them




I know that this life is a masterpiece,




 given to me in stained glass moments






Bold and jagged






 piece by piece






they place themselves in me






Until I shine





With their sunlit glory