Echoes

                                                                         Deep 

                                                                         Ever

                                                                         Sun sand 

                                                                         Echoes 

                                                                         Ring

                                                                         True 
                                                                                --acrostic poem by Noelle, age 8 and Danielle, age Mom

The desert 
this place of origin 
Before the life grows strong

Where elements sing ancient songs 

And the bones of our past lay exposed

Do we have the courage to look at them? Learn from them?

Fire bakes, 
Earth boulders and quakes 

Water streams relief 
Air whispers palm leaf dreams 

If you want to know the truth 
And strength of who you are 

And came to be

Walk among the thorns 

This is not the place of illusion 
Where patterns and color 

And fancy feathers and dances 
Tell you a story and ask you to believe 

This is the place where illusion comes to die 
Torn by a thousand needles

Impossible it seems
to wind through 

The unrelenting penetrations
Of precious outer boundaries

 Perhaps it's the surface wounds
That sting the most 

But then
A little Self awareness and
the Under-Standing of your own feet (find that center point)

take you through easily
Even beautifully 

Your reward -
the silence 
And the still hollow 
Of Thought-Lessness

And that whisper through the palms?
It was You all along.
Circle back on yourself 

All the voices become One 
No arguments to be had  

Whole again 
Your steps feel as big as the mountains

Where Love Lives(I want to live)

Where love lives
That place in between places 
A Crack where we give up 
The No-ing we have 
To let in the understanding we need 
Willingness to tear apart 
What was so
Lovingly built 
Because we see
Its not working anymore 
And from the remains, a bridge is made 
to the churning soil
Of change 
Don't be afraid, 
For the bridge is my heart 
Freed from the perception 
Of what I thought should be

The dark night

Bedtime
It has worked for months 

But tonight
And the last several nights
It's not working anymore 

My grip is holding edges of night

tight 

with clenched teeth

my arms give out

I let go

And it falls loosely like a wave 

Over us 

Your eyes find mine

And see they are soft
With surrender 

And you smile
Stretching into your freedom
Of a mother not in control 

But in communion 

That Crack
Where love lives
And shines 

flooding the dark
lighting your questions
With Yes

In that reaching light
Mother-Heart beats strong
The rhythm of what is

And swells and empties to the lilting song 

calling in

What will be

Hind Sight

It started
A tiny flickering flame 
Let's celebrate the light coming back 

Even though the ground has been white for months 

And flakes fall fat through the frigid air 
All my earthly senses say 
Cold silent dark 

But there are fires stirring inside 
Flickering flames of desires yet unnamed 
They warm me
Do I fan them?

Perhaps it is time to leave behind the crystalline stillness 
Let it melt into the flows that will grow up this year 
Grow up me

And so they dawn crowns of light 
And dance 
The givers of light they call themselves 

And we eat golden grain fired into cakes 
And drink the red ripeness of summer 
"We give it to you" their angel voices cadence...

there is that little place now
I feel it 
"Lo siento" 
Is how they say sorry in Spanish 
"I feel it"

The longing empty
The goodbye place 

As time takes a step 
It is the part that looks back
On what was

Smiles the smile of seeing it was 
All-ways good
No thing to be sorry about 
Except for any ignorance of the beauty 

But it cannot be held 
Must be all-owed
To light the halls of
Memory
In the vaults of his-story

The only way is forward 
Toward flames yet unseen
It is not so easy to see from this vantage 
dark and hazy 

Take a breath 
And a step
Wait

I take one candle 
From the blazing memories
To remind me

All-ways good

New Year

These years 
they always start gentle, meek, quiet...

But I've lived enough of them to know 
They are wolves in sheep's clothing 

It won't be long, before the white is gone 

And the green begins 
That what seemed tame, docile
Easy 
Will turn 

teeth bared 
Gutteral rumbling 
And I will first step lightly
Not understanding where this  
Demanding
Biting 
Beast 
Came from 

But then 
understanding comes
The fear runs cold 
survival runs hot
Legs run fast 
the heartbeat of survival 
Pounding ears 

And it will look like I might do it
Outrun the beast 
but then fatigue 
limbs to stone
I turn, hoping to see that sweet 
Beautiful 
Comforting 
Lamb

Instead
The snarling 
Crazed 
Famished 
Wolf 
stands poised
Tensed 
Ready

But now more understanding 
And the fear melts 
Into a warmth that spreads 
And the fatigue burns away 
In the fires of power

I am not going to run anymore

I could, I feel the hot in my muscles
But I'm not
And in the light of that strength
I see fear in those amber eyes 
And I finally 
Exhale 

And my shoulders heave
And the world heaves
And the wolf 
He is tired of running too 

There is only the sound of breath now 
Two breathing heaving beings 
I turn my back 
knowing him for what he is 
No gentle lamb 
a wolf through and through 

But now
He's my wolf 

I begin, the sound of rhythmic steps moving to breath 
Steaming hot white in the ice 
And I hear it sweet and strong
The sound of his following